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  FEC declares Kid Rock couldn't have run for senate as "Kid Rock," thus clearing him of federal complaints
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Last EditedBrentinCO  Nov 27, 2018 12:35am
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News DateTuesday, November 27, 2018 06:00:00 AM UTC0:0
DescriptionWe all had a brief chuckle when Confederate flag-loving rap-rocker Kid Rock teased a Michigan Senate run, then a spiraling onset of gut-roiling horror when we realized he’d probably win. The artist otherwise known as Bob Ritchie eventually revealed that the whole thing was a publicity stunt, but not before he forced us to imagine him “standing on the desk of the Oval Office like a G” and “holdin’ my dick ready to address the whole country.”

One should be punished for making us endure such torture, but The Washington Post reports that the FEC has dismissed a complaint brought against the rocker by election watchdog group Common Cause. Last year, Common Cause objected to Ritchie’s selling merch with slogans like “Kid Rock For Senate ’18", citing that the Federal Election Campaign Act requires candidates to track and report donations and campaign contributions. Ritchie fired back by telling them to (sigh) go **** themselves.
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