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  [Ian Murphy] Volunteering at the Corwin Phone Bank
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Last EditedRP  May 24, 2011 05:12pm
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CategoryBlog Entry
AuthorIan Murphy
News DateTuesday, May 24, 2011 11:00:00 PM UTC0:0
DescriptionIt was like any other day after the apocalypse. “This is the Sabbath!” an older woman shouts in my ear. “It’s supposed to be a day of rest!”

“I know, ma’am,” I say. “But–

“But nothing!” she yells. “I can’t believe you people are calling me again!”

“But there’s a very important election coming up this Tuesday and if you don’t vote for Jane Corwin horrible things will happen to you and the people you love…she was a successful business fetus…hello?”

This was a fairly common exchange. I spent about three hours volunteering at Jane Corwin HQ, phoning potential voters, under the alias Steve Smith–an underemployed pet psychic and WNY repat most recently from Oakland, CA.

“Jesus!” a guy screams at me. “You know, I was thinking about voting for Corwin, but this is too much! You people have called me a dozen times in the last two days! I am sick of it!”

“But Jane Corwin wants to rule over you with an iron fist,” I calmly relay. “Don’t you crave strong leadership?”

“What?!” he balks. “An ‘iron fist’?”

“Yes,” I assure him. “These phone calls are just the beginning. When Jane’s in Congress she will do everything in her power to crush you mentally and physically.”
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