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Sensing Turnout Issues, candidate Leroy Campaigns in Montana, Introduces "Simian outreach platform"
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Race
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| Contributor | *crickets chirp* |
| Last Edited | *crickets chirp* Sep 08, 2004 09:06pm |
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| Category | News |
| News Date | Monday, December 8, 2003 06:00:00 AM UTC0:0 |
| Description | Bald Knob, Montana (AP)-
In a bold and politically risky move today, Democratic candidate Scott Unsaintly "Upendra" Leroy K***** embarked on a campaign stop in Montana designed to reach out to voters of all stripes, including those that are not human.
He lectured in front of 300 enamored monkeys and gorillas at Bald Knob International Zoo, dubbed the finest of it's kind in the world.
For some 45 minutes he spoke of the need to reach out to simians as they are a politically ignored and marginalized sector of the broader electorate. He eloquently outlined his platform, bringing up past civil rights battles to highlight what he sees as the oppression of the simian minority.
"I want to be the candidate for all, as it is so important that we reach out to the disaffected voters from every town, city, state, region, and planet", declared Leroy, "It's my job to provide you that leadership and vision".
This drew heated debate amongst political analysts, with former presidential candidate Ross Perot declaring it "the best idea since tofu". Others, however, were not as kind. Political analyst Mr. Moderate responded by saying ". . .", while analyst Stu Rotherberg suggested that Leroy had escaped from his cell in a mental institution. |
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