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  A Return to Virtue
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ContributorImperator 
Last EditedImperator  Jun 27, 2007 09:57pm
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CategoryAmusing
News DateThursday, June 28, 2007 03:00:00 AM UTC0:0
DescriptionDear Obscure Conservative Legal Guy:

I’m a professional ethicist with an ethical problem. I want to donate money to a goofy leftist wingnut outfit, but it turns out that my employer (a popular liberal periodical that sometimes runs straight news pieces) has some silly ethics rules that prevent me from doing so. Since these ethics rules are plainly dumb, should I just ignore them and do what’s right? I’d ask an ethicist but I don’t know any good ones.

Randy in Manhattan


Dear Randy:

Nincompoops talk ethics. Men talk virtues. Stop being a nincompoop.

My highest law-school grade was in Legal Ethics. I achieved a stellar grade because I devised an infallible mechanism for solving any legal ethical dilemma. My mechanism was this: Remember that legal ethics is a system of rules:


1) designed by sociopaths;
2) for sociopaths;
3) to prevent public acknowledgment of their sociopathy;
4) while still allowing said sociopaths to fleece said public.

Once you realize that contemporary ethics is not morality but the clever simulation of morality, you’re halfway to qualifying for an ethics-consulting job.
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