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Obama Not Sure How To Tell Nation This, But He Ran Over Jimmy Carter With Car Last Night
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| Contributor | Brandonius Maximus |
| Last Edited | Brandonius Maximus Aug 07, 2013 12:33pm |
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| Category | Satire |
| Author | The Onion |
| News Date | Wednesday, August 7, 2013 06:00:00 PM UTC0:0 |
| Description | WASHINGTON—Sighing and shaking his head, a shaken and deeply saddened President Obama appeared before the nation Tuesday to deliver the news that he had struck and killed former president Jimmy Carter with his car while driving through downtown Washington last night.
“My fellow Americans, I don’t quite know how to tell you this,” a visibly somber Obama said during the impromptu press conference. “But last night I was out driving, and, um, [heavy sigh], I might as well just say it because I need to hear my voice say it: I ran over the nation’s 39th president, Jimmy Carter.”
“And, well, he’s dead,” Obama continued. “Jimmy Carter is dead.” |
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