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The Gawker Endorsement: Mark Clayton for Senate
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| Contributor | Homegrown Democrat |
| Last Edited | Homegrown Democrat Oct 23, 2012 10:53pm |
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| Category | Blog Entry |
| Author | Max Read |
| News Date | Tuesday, October 23, 2012 11:00:00 PM UTC0:0 |
| Description | Here at Gawker.com, an influential Tennessee politics blog, we don't often endorse candidates. According to many medical studies, politicians are queer in the head and full of bile, and as longtime readers know, we do not consider the U.S. government legitimate since it abandoned the gold standard and put all whites up for collateral against foreign debt in 1933. (See our previous article, "Six Great Tips for Hiding the IRS Agent's Body.")
But every once in a while, a different kind of candidate emerges. A candidate who we can be proud of. A candidate who represents our interests. A candidate who will be tough on the issues, like the North American Union and the Chinese Google conspiracy. A candidate who will step up to the Transportation Security Administration when it "mandates [transsexuals] and homosexuals grabbing children in their stranger-danger zones."
Readers, Mark Clayton, Tennessee's Democratic candidate for Senate, is that man.
If you're some kind of university professor or seditious journalist, like the Washington Post's David Fahrenthold, you might put your faith in corrupt and ungodly "numbers," which the Bible teaches us are the domain of wizards and females. He's only raised $278! (As though fiat currency is anything but a Antichrist plot!) He's only got one yard sign! (It's sitting in his truck.) He only has 46 Twitter followers and 388 Facebook likes! He doesn't have a campaign staff! |
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