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  The Big Greene Monster
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ContributorHikikomori Blitzkrieg! 
Last EditedHikikomori Blitzkrieg!  Jun 17, 2010 01:59am
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CategoryHumor
AuthorJim Goad
News DateWednesday, June 16, 2010 09:00:00 AM UTC0:0
DescriptionI live in Georgia. My congressional representative is Hank Johnson, a Democrat whom I am unafraid to call stupid. In April at a House Armed Services Committee hearing, Johnson expressed genuine concern that sending more personnel to Guam would cause the island to “tip over and capsize.” After watching that comment issue from Johnson’s lips, I was certain he was the most mentally impaired politician in recorded history.

Since I live in Georgia, I can see South Carolina from my kitchen. After last week’s Palmetto State primaries, it is now apparent that Hank Johnson was merely John the Baptist announcing a frightening new idiocratic covenant—a dim-witted little voice in the wilderness prophesying the arrival of a figure whose cognitive deficiencies are so vast that they transcend mortals’ understanding.

Unemployed Army vet and accused sex offender Alvin Greene (D-SC) burst onto the national political scene last week with all the wit and charisma of a musk ox, trouncing his more-established and melanin-deficient opponent Vic Rawl. Greene had run little or no campaign on what apparently was little or no intelligence, yet he clocked 59% of the votes and will face Republican Jim DeMint in November.

Greene reportedly has served as an Army intelligence specialist. He is also South Carolina’s first black candidate for US Senate from either major party since Reconstruction. Despite all that, his epically stammering and not-all-there TV appearances since winning the nomination have revealed a man for whom the term “intelligence specialist” might not be entirely appropriate…a man with, at best, a very cloudy and heavy-lidded awareness that he’s in a room somewhere, answering somebody’s questions.
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