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Turn us [UK] into the 51st state? Why not?
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| Contributor | RP |
| Last Edited | RP Mar 05, 2009 09:19pm |
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| Category | Amusing |
| Media | Newspaper - Independent |
| News Date | Friday, March 6, 2009 03:00:00 AM UTC0:0 |
| Description | It wasn't polite, but who can resent the disdain when to America this visit isn't so much irrelevant as unknown? An hour spent scouring the US political websites yesterday unearthed barely a reference to Gordon. In the Slate digest of major US news that pings daily into the in-box, his name didn't feature at all. And this on the day of his address to Congress.
More attention would have been paid were he the governor of a medium-sized state in Washington to pay homage and beg for federal funding – and in a less imperfect world that's precisely what he would be. For decades every sub-Ben Elton stand-up has counted on an easy laugh by calling Britain the 51st State. They entirely missed the point. Becoming the 51st State of the Union would be a colossal promotion.
There would be downsides to yielding what passes for our sovereignty, of course. The Sovereign would have to go, and most of us would miss her and the amusement her family selflessly provides. Any residual misplaced sense of superiority would need to be jettisoned as well.
But the upsides would more than dwarf the regrets. At a stroke we would inherit a written constitution – and what a constitution – guaranteeing such essentials for a functioning democracy as fixed-term government, proper checks and balances to executive power, and freedom of speech. We'd be defended from the worst ravages of economic collapse by belonging to what will, with the euro facing mounting pressure from the imminent bankruptcy of member countries, remain the world's premier reserve currency. We would have a political leader to revere, for eight years at least. And in the US tradition of slightly out-of-the-way cities holding the honour, we could make Norwich our state capital, with the Union Jack replaced as flag by a pot of Colman's Mustard.
Almost equally tempting, we would be entitled to vote for and against those who hold our fate in their hands. Gordon's recklessness at the Exchequer may have worsened matters, which is why his redirected rural mail will soon have "ex-Chequers" stamped on it. But as he has been known to point out, the source of the disaster was the Bush White House and US financial institutions. "No Disintegration Without Representation" should be the rallying cry of our application to join the Union. |
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