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  An American’s View of Canada
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ContributorMonsieur 
Last EditedMonsieur  Feb 18, 2007 06:56pm
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CategoryEditorial
News DateSaturday, August 2, 2003 12:00:00 AM UTC0:0
Description(This editorial ran in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette in August 2003)

It’s not just the weather that’s cooler in Canada: You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or throws raucous parties. He doesn’t gossip over the fence, just smiles politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn’t always lock his front door. He wears Dockers. You hardly know he’s there. And then one day you discover that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and that guy you’ve seen mowing the yard is his spouse.

Allow me to introduce Canada. The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they’re up there, but they’ve been busy doing some surprising things. It’s like discovering that the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an espresso machine.

Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little tag-along brother never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada wasn’t willing, as it turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only assume American diner menus weren’t angrily changed to include “freedom bacon,” because nobody here eats the stuff anyway.

...

Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult - more secure. They aren’t afraid of foreigners. They aren’t afraid of homosexuality. Most of all, they’re not afraid of each other.

I wonder if America will ever be that cool.
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